April. Probably the last time we all sat together at the table in our home with all members present. The past 10 months have held so many changes for our family. I sometimes feel as though I am hanging on by a thread. Change is inevitable and it will come no matter what, but I am trying to keep it from sending me over the edge.
When you stay at home for the purpose of raising a family, is it harder when the babies leave the nest? After all, this is the first one, not everyone at once. Maybe it is just that I can see where I failed to transfer some life skills and how that failure can affect the outcome on someone else's life. Did I do too much myself instead of training them to do things for themselves? Probably. Some things will have to be learn as you go. Some things will have to be, "My Mother was right," realizations, but months or years down the road. And that Proverb about when you train up a child in the ways of the Lord and they won't depart from it? I think I didn't get the concept that often times they will travel other paths before returning to the ways of the Lord or I at least didn't fathom how hard it is to watch your offspring traveling down the path. I think that is the hardest, the watching. I can see it, but feel like I don't have any influence on the outcome, yet, I know I have done the majority of my part in laying a foundation.
So, now I will wait while the foundation settles and becomes firm enough to build upon. I will bide my time with prayer and thanksgiving for all the many blessings I have been given. I will surround myself with the support of others who believe as I believe. And I will learn from my mistakes. I will encourage independence, forthright living, and a love of the Lord. And I will anticipate more family times filled with love and appreciation for everyone gathered around the table.
